I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
