Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
