The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
