I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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