I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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