Who wears a wallet chain?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
