It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
