So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
