rhymes with "ouble enetration"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
