Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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