She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
