I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I died a long time ago.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
