just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Randomize
