this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
