Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize