You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
