i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
