You're so nebulous sometimes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
