I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
