The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
