Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
