I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize