We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
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it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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