dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
