I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
