guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
