We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
