He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So squirting runs in the family.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
