the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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