I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize