i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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