hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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