I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
