Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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