Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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