Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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