did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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