we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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