i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
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will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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