I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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