Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
