Kiss
Puke
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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