You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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