ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
