According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
