You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I believe in your delicious
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
