she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize