Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
