yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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