as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
