Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
