just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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