Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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