OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
