I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
