I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
...so i touched it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize