Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
