The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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