Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
