I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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