So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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