What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
