I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
