Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
