Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
